Cisco officially turned 3 today.  Inspired by all the 2009 Westminster dog show clips I watched today, I figured PJ and I should really treat him as if he just won the coveted Best in Show award!  I decided to bake him a nice little birthday cupcake that’s dog-friendly and extraordinary:

The “cake” base is actually cornbread batter.  I lined the inside of a cupcake mold with a strip of bacon in order to make the bacon “cup.”  As for the faux frosting, I blended the living crap out of some cottage cheese with a bit of vegetable in order to get a frosting consistancy.  Sprinkled some kibble and voila!– an hour of work for a mere 5 seconds of complete obliteration.

Of course I made Otis one too.  I mean, c’mon, it wouldn’t be fair.

I figured there was no better way to spend my Xmas Amazon gift money on getting the highly-regarded Mr. Bento/Ms. Bento lunch pail.  Like Peter Moore, Mr. Bento lunch pails are big in Japan.  It apparently has some amazing temperature abilities powered by baby elephants.  Or something.

Anyways, so recession is affecting our house.  Though we could cut corners and get cheaper dog food for Cisco and Otis, I really can’t.  I’ll feel like a bastard.  They eat the same kibble stuff everyday and never complain.  So I pro-actively decided that *I* am the one who needs to cut corners on meals.  Because lordy lord, the lunch places in uptight San Francisco Financial District are pricey and I am sick of spending at least 8 bucks a day on freaking lunch.  So here I am; a new year, a new lunch pail, and ready to save, save, save.  Here’s a photo of my first Ms. Bento lunch ever:

Left: Enjedra (spiced red lentils with brown rice) with roasted fennel

Bottom: Cornmeal-masala roasted brussel sprouts

Top: Mixed greens topped with pumpkin seeds, dried currants, chopped up medjool dates

2 bottles of red wine

1 cup of port or other dessert wines

juice of one orange

zest of one orange

2 cinnamon sticks

a crapload of gound nutmeg and clove, whatever your taste is.  I freaking love clove.

1/2 cup of molasses

1 cup of brown sugar

3 teaspoons of ground ginger*

1 peeled whole pear

1 peeled whole granny smith apple

1 copy of Persona 4

Preheat a 4-quart slowcooker on high (around 15 minutes).  Pour in red wine, port, all the spices, orange juice, zest, sugar and molasses into the slowcooker.  Cook on high for an hour.  Dick around for an hour.

Give the wine mixture a good stir.  Place the naked apple and pear into the wine mixture and cook on low for 2-3 hours.  Pop in Persona 4 on the PS2 or PS3.

Take out the apple and the pear from the mulled wine.  Let cool for a few minutes and proceed to nom nom nom.  Goes great with a dollop of marscapone cheese with a sprinkle of brown sugar on top. 

Enjoy the mulled wine while battling against Persona 4’s crazy TV monsters.

*Makes the wine really taste like Christmas.

Gabe from Penny Arcade last year hosted a good natured holiday cookie contest where people have to bake schlong-shaped snickerdoodles, aptly dubbed as the mighty Dickerdoodle. The contest is back this year, and Chris, Rob, and I decided it was time we ourselves could use some good culinary holiday cheer on a lazy Sunday. I was inspired by this particular comic:

A nice little parallel, really. And besides, cookies, cocks, LittleBigPlanet, and dinosaurs are, like, a few of my most favorite things.  Photo deluge:

*Note the restaurant name from the calendar in the back.

Hooray for my B.A. in architecture!

Riddle me this: what is it with video games and mushrooms? From the nostalgic and iconic Mario variety to the headliners of Gamecock title Mushroom Men, what is it about the modest button fungus that makes its way to the screens of our TVs?

Granted, the same question can be asked with any other popular produce. The apple makes a few appearances, and cherries have secured its spotlight in slot machines and Pac-Man. But the mushroom? It definitely doesn’t have the same fresh, juicy appeal. Mushrooms are a type of mold! They spring from dead forest creatures and some thrive quasi-parasitically on trees! They represent decay! Gross!

But I think that the defining moment for the mushroom is when it represented a magical reward in Super Mario Bros. Super Shroom and the 1UP Shroom left quite an impression on me, and probably on many others who grew up with Mario. Mushrooms went from being slimy mold balls to being cute, wholesome prizes shaped like little adorable ottomans. (On the other end of the spectrum, because of Kid Icarus, PJ still loathes eggplant).

It’s common belief that Miyamoto’s inspiration came from Alice in Wonderland where the Caterpillar gave Alice two pieces of mushrooms that granted sizing powers.

Makes perfect sense.

But before Lewis Carroll, the mushroom had a reputation of being mysterious…always mentioned in old tales of apothecary, of witches, and of the occult. Mushrooms embody both qualities of life and death, as well as freshness and fester. They thrive in creepy wet and dark places. Primordial and secretive. Even In Shakespeare’s Tempest, it was believed that fungus were the works of fairies and elves:

PROSPERO: …you demi-puppets that by moonshine do the green sour ringlets make…

Okay, so mushrooms are wondrous but weird living things, and it’s no surprise that it’s commonly used in storytelling. But after playing Star Wars: Force Unleashed, I noticed something else that I keep seeing in video games: Mushroom Worlds.

I can see how the mushroom’s symbolic associations from folklore, art, and literature can be inspirations for singular items in video games… but the whole Mushroom World/Farm/Jungle/Ecosystem in video games baffles me a bit. World of Warcraft has Zangarmarsh, Mario has his freaking kingdom (even though I would argue that the platforms in Level 1-3 are really trees), and Force Unleashed has Dagobah-kin Felusia. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any famous cultural or historical references of a giant mushroom-themed environment. The closest things I came up with was Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. So I did some research. (By “research”, I really mean “google”…kids these days have it so easy.) So what did I find?

Nothing.

So this led me to believe that maybe mushroom-themed environments made their first few pop culture appearances in video games. And you know what?– it makes sense…giant mushrooms seem fun and bouncy, great for platformers, and renders an awesome-looking hybrid of an urban skyline and of a natural forest-inspired habitat. In the case of Zangarmarsh, a territory occupied by the environmentally-conscious hippie faction Cenarion Expedition and alien sporelings, the bountiful growth of mushroom help establish, “hey, this place is teeming with life, motherfuckers!” WoW has a lot of great zones but Zangarmarsh was first to really make my jaw drop (going down the Great Elevator to Thousand Needles is a close second…wait, maybe Karazahn is second). The mushrooms aren’t just part of the decor, things happen on the mushroom tops.

Despite my struggles with the weird auto-targeting issues and the fucktard camera in Force Unleashed, I enjoyed playing the Felusia levels and learning about the Felusian lore. After playing so many space games, and adventuring in so many space stations, space deserts, space mining facilities, space prisons, space bars, and space mines, Felusia definitely brings something different to the table. Felusia shares the same principle with Dagobah- nature, life, and the Force are all connected. Hayden Blackman says this in the book The Art and Making of Star Wars: Force Unleashed:

Members of the team often jokingly referred to it as the “mood ring” planet because it is very much a living, breathing world that reacts to what is happening on its surface.

I’m trying to be spoiler-free (even though know one cares), and it’s pretty striking to see Felusia’s evolution.

Nature is neat!

This mushroom world hooplah is fascinating to me. If anyone can provide any more examples of and/or thoughts on mushroom and mushroom worlds in pop culture history, holla!

Welcome to the first installment of Poor Man’s Iron Chef. I’ve been cooking a lot of dinners lately where I only use whatever I have in the fridge and pantry. Why? Because going out to eat requires putting pants on. Because going to the grocery store requires putting pants on. I’m lazy.

Today’s Not So Secret Ingredient: Crepe Batter

Main Course: Crepes stuffed with sauteed tomatoes, leeks, white corn, and fresh rosemary

Breakdown: Crepe batter was made with 1 cup milk, 1/2 cup of flour, 1 tbs of melted butter, 2 eggs. All of produce used was remnants from my produce delivery box except for the corn…which was from a plastic bag from the freezer. The corn kernels looked like frostbitten elf toes.

Side Course: Boiled green beans with a vegetable medley cream sauce

Breakdown: The beans were getting dark and mushy at the ends from being ignored for a week. I had to chop off the gross ends to preserve the I-think-it’s-still-edible precious middle part. The green bean pieces met their deaths in boiling water. The cream sauce that went on top was from a sad little Stouffer’s Veggie Lasagna TV dinner. Microwaved it, took the pasta out (because TV dinner pastas taste like ace bandages doused in burnt rubber), and used the cream sauce leftover.

Dessert Course: Peaches and Cream Crepes

Breakdown: Sliced a peach and tossed them lightly in balsamic vinegar. I would’ve used lemon juice, but doh!- used it all up this past weekend. While the crepe was cooking, I threw in some white chocolate chips, and topped the whole thing up with the peaches.

JUDGING TABLE

Everything was really fucking good. The green beans were cooked just right so they were soft with a nice bite and still freshly green. The crepe was so-so only because it lacked some sort of meat or protein. I realized corn and rosemary are kind of weird together. It tasted a little like grandma’s overly fragrant bathroom. But only a little. PJ wanted more sugar in the dessert. Then again, he likes his peaches in a near rotting state while I like fruits that make my face pucker.

In attempt to keep my head from exploding and spewing bacteria mess, I finally got out of bed today and decided that I needed to eat. Cooking was out of the question- I can’t really trust myself with an open flame in this sick state. I could walk a couple of blocks to get a tostada but then that required putting on pants.

Thankfully, my produce box arrived. Once a week, this company delivers organic local produce to my door. I’m pretty much on the sidelines of the Great Organic vs. Non-organic debate. Frankly, I don’t really give a fuck. I mainly use this service because I’m lazy.

I opened this week’s box and there were leeks, swanky lettuce, apples, peaches, fresh figs (what the hell do you do with them?!), tomatoes, and a bag of yukon gold potatoes. I wrapped a potato in some foil and threw it in the oven on low. I then blew my nose, and spent 30 minutes lying on the bed desperately hoping my white blood cells are on the forefront of this bacterial war in my body.

After I retrieved my potato from the oven, I threw in some kosher salt, black pepper, diced garlic from a jar, and some fresh rosemary (from last week’s produce box). Then I roughly mashed the whole thing with the back of the fork. No butter or sour cream. I didn’t want to add another layer of bodily discomfort by indulging in dairy… if ya catch my drift.

It was perversely delicious. So simple and so crude. “Rustic” is really just a diplomatic culinary term for “Poor Food.” And what I ate was definitely along the lines of my collegiate culinary past: packaged pasta with ketchup, rice with soy sauce, mustard sandwiches. But the flavor of this baked potato thing was other-worldly. I came up with the conclusion that it was a fucking great potato to begin with; sweet, golden, fluffy…not those turdballs of starch and water they sell in the supermarket. I’ve found my personal comfort food.

Is that the whole organic difference or am I just that sick that I’m hallucinating?

Remember all those childhood summers spent playing the SNES indoors when it got too hot outside? Summer vacation, BBQs, and the NES. Ah…Those were the days.

I wrote a pretty detailed set of instructions over at instructables.com for this nerdy 1UP burger.

I made my own veggie mushroom patties. Meat eaters are welcome to tweak this idea and add in meat…unless you are Bowser, who desperately needs to cut down his meat intake if he wants to be in good princess-kidnapper shape.

So get your grills and consoles fired up. It’s summer time fercchrissakes.

I live in San Francisco, the mecca of American foodies with their dark-rimmed glasses, wine tastings, and exclusive palette for organic cupcakes.  Heck, I’m one of them.  But with the aged beef carved to perfection from House of Prime Rib to my right, and the juicy herbed turkey patties from Custom Burger to my left, I’ve been quiet about something for quite a while, and it’s about time that I feel proud enough to stop hiding my big decision.

So about 3 months ago, I decided to become vegan.

Yes, yes, I used to cringe in disgust too at people who don’t eat cheese (especially parmesan reggiano) or enjoy meat juices dripping down from the corner of the mouth while chomping down a burger.  I cannot count the times I’ve rolled my eyes at my Berkeleyan vegan friends when they shut down the idea of having dinner at Zachary’s.

Technically, I don’t see myself as vegan.  I just decided not to eat animals that I find cute.  Thanks to Disney movies, that’s pretty much every animal.  And I’m lactose intolerant, so that makes me 98% vegan already.

The funny thing is, having a dog really impacted my decision.  If something looks like it was cut from my dog, then fuck no.  I was recently on a plane that was showing some Bobby Flay show and he was smoking ribs.  In some odd way, I immediately could see which part of the cow it was hacked from and could locate that part on my own dog.  I’m kind of fucked up.

Of course, I have nothing against meat-eaters and I’m not standing on some hoity-toity self-righteous podium preaching veganism.  The reality is, I find animals cute and I just don’t want to eat them anymore.

Maybe except for grasshoppers.  They are very un-cute to me.  So I guess theoretically, I wouldn’t mind eating them.

So because of my cold, I only left the house once this weekend.  And that was only because I was desperate and starving.  Tonight must have been ones of those nights where the planets and stars are in some fortunate voodoo configuration or something because on the walk home, I met Howling Monkey.

Rather, I met the Howling Monkey’s street team who were packing up and ready to leave.  So I’ve never heard of Howling Monkey, but hey, I can never turn down a free energy drink.  PJ and I actually went up to the guys to ask for some freebies and they were glad that we showed so much..erm..”perseverance.”  The Howling Monkey promo truck in itself earned big brownie points with me.  Not only did the jet black vehicle comes equipped with a giant LCD screen that flashed batshit crazy graphics, but the was this huge sound system secured up top blasting creepy shrieking monkey noises.  How effin’ metal.

Here is my evaluation of Howling Monkey (sugar-free variant):

APPEARANCE: The can definitely struck a chord with me.  It has a vaudeville, post-victorian, exotic circus, colonial look to it…which is a lot like what my wedding invitations will be like.  Think of exotic Ceylon tea labels during the British occupation in India, erm, yeah, that’s about right.  The drink itself has a light gingerale color; nothing flourescent or staining (I’m looking at you, Go Girl).

TASTE: It’s strong enough to taste the flavor but not overly powerful like most energy drinks in hopes to hide the chemical taste.  Howling Monkey doesn’t have that chemical taste, but there is a flavor that’s reminiscent of light Chinese Medicine.  It’s also very sour, like drinking lemonade. The version I tried was the sugar-free one, and unlike other sugar-free drinks, there’s no bitter sweetener aftertaste, and it’s just not very sweet to begin with.  It’s kind of pleasant.

OVERALL SCORE: 6/10